Words are a limited way of expressing oneself

Eckhart Tolle wrote a whole book ("The Power of Now") about a subject, that cannot be truly explained by words. The words are just pointers and guides to the actual subject. You cannot truly explain "being", you need to experience it to understand it. The same thing might be said about "love".

Remember: thoughts, feelings and the ego are all separate from your true self. Words are formed by the thought process. And as thoughts are just a tool for your true self to use, so are words.

Another way to look at this is to understand that different languages have different words and sentence structures. If you have studied languages, you know that there are a lot of extra words in other languages that can describe certain situations or feelings better than the english language, for example.

People also think in languages. Your internal monologue, the voice in your head, is usually in your mother tongue, but people who have spent a lot of time in another country and learned the language well enough, can actually start to think in the other language as well!

Words in communication

Using words and sentences in communication is limited by the capacity of your language skills, vocabulary, as well as the language skills of the other person. When communicating, you need to think about the other person. If you want them to understand what you mean, you cannot use words that they don't understand.

There's also a risk that the other person understands the same word quite differently. They may have not studied the subject as extensively or might have learned another meaning for the word from their past environment. That's why it's important to try to use as many sentences and different ways to express your view as possible. One useful technique is to get the other person to cite back what they understood with their own words to check if they understood you correctly.

Words in an argument

If you are having an argument, it's important to try to form a connection to the actual person and not just their ego. The ego may be in the front and will often try to defend itself automatically. Notice this and wait. When things have cooled down, it's time to really try to understand each other.

Always try to get behind words and try to find the actual reason for them. Ask questions like "what did you mean by that?" or "how do you really think about this subject?". It's important not to draw conclusions from a couple of words. Allow the other person time to explain why they said something. Then listen and try to understand their view.

Other ways of expressing oneself

When getting to know a new person, words aren't usually enough to really get to know them. It is always possible that someone might not be as honest as they say. To help building trust, it is useful to understand other ways of expressing oneself.

By actions, you express the things that you are willing to do to show others who you really are. By showing up when promised, by being consistent, by being generous, etc. you can show other people how you value them. One could argue that this is the most genuine way to express oneself as actions cannot lie.

By touch, you can express your affection to another person. This is mostly useful in romantic situations but it's a simple way to communicate that you care about the other person and want to be close to them.

Conclusion

Words are a limited way to express the real you. To let others know who you are, use multiple sentences from different viewpoints to describe your actual view. Try to find simpler words if necessary. Use actions and touch as other ways to express yourself.

In arguments, ask for the actual reason behind the words and try to understand it. Also, don't forget to notice and appreciate all the different ways your closed ones are expressing themselves to you.