Introvert vs. extrovert

Typically people have been divided in two groups: introverts and extroverts. The difference between the groups is that introverts use their energy when around other people and extroverts gain energy in the same situation.

Then there's the term ambivert which means that a person is somewhere in the middle. So they might gain energy in some situations, but in other situations not. Even though I have been calling myself as an introvert in the past, I have noticed that around some people, I actually do gain energy. So that would make me an ambivert.

In my opinion, being an introvert or extrovert, as most things in life, isn't a binary question. You should think that it's a line segment and you fall in somewhere on the line. So basically everyone is an ambivert, just falling closer to the introvert or extrovert end of the line.

Most probably this is also an oversimplification and there is more to it. And it's important to remember that people do change, so the position that you fall into this line is also not locked down permanently.

According to this article, this difference between introverts and extroverts can be explained by the differences in human brain and their level of dopamin based stimulation. This is fascinating and makes perfect sense.

The energy-givers and energy-takers

As I mentioned before, I have noticed that around some people, I actually do gain energy. Why is that exactly? What is the difference between the energy-giving and the energy-taking people? Does it have something to do with being an introvert or extrovert?

In my view, you could probably divide the energy-givers and takers in the following way:

• Around the "energy-giving" kind of people, you feel that you can just "be yourself". You won't be judged and they give you space to talk and think. Maybe they are a bit more introverted by nature?
• Around the "energy-taking" kind of people, you feel like you have to pretend to be something else, just to fit in to the group or the mindview of the person you are with. Or start arguing with them if you don't want to fit in. Both of these actions will of course drain your energy. These kind of people might also try to "steal the show" by talking over everyone else.

By dissecting the reasons for this "energy-flow" I find that maybe this has more to do with being on the same page with a person or group and having a certain social skillset rather than just being more of an introvert or extrovert.

Improving yourself

So recently I have been thinking about how to improve myself in a situation where I feel like the other person/group is draining my energy.

Could I just "be myself" in the "bad" group of people, so that they wouldn't drain my energy, and how would that work?

• I don't listen and just ignore what they are saying?
• I also try to talk over them to express my different opinion instead of "keeping it in"?

Could it be that being afraid of acting and expressing my opinions is the thing that is draining my energy?

This is a question that I still seek an answer to.

Also the term of "being yourself" is interesting one and definately a subject for another blog post.