How to take criticism

We are not perfect, we make mistakes. Sometimes our actions can hurt our friend or partner. Our partner should be allowed to express their feelings safely. And that can often be in the format of a criticism of what we did. They feel bad about something we did.

Criticism is a development step in the journey to deepen your relationship.

If your friend or partner criticizes you for your behaviour, here are the appropriate steps to take:

1. Firstly, calm yourself, as criticism often raises feelings. Try to focus on the subject.
2. Make sure you understand the other person correctly. Ask clarifying questions about the exact subject of the criticism.
3. Try to put yourself in the position of the other person. Ask more questions if necessary to understand better. Try to remember if you have been in a similar situation yourself.
4. Apologize, whether you think your behaviour was correct or not.
5. Talk with the other person about the situation that the criticism was about. Explain why you did what you did. Don't try to make excuses or defend yourself, just explain the situation from your perspective. Tell what you were thinking at the time.
6. Reach a point in conversation where you both understand each others perspective and can sympathize with each other.
7. Plan together what to do to prevent that situation from happening again. Often this involves some change from both sides.
8. Congratulate yourself for tackling another little thing and making you and your relationship better. 💪
9. Last but not least: change the topic and discuss about something fun. 🥳

It's important to understand that this is not a fight that one should win. It's a development step in the journey to deepen your relationship. You are working together on this. Remember to always be polite when criticizing and be polite when receiving one too.